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There is this idea that we have one soul mate and that real love stories are supposed to be filled with obstacles and drama.While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.Instead of your guy feeling relaxed around you, he feels pressure (like he’s afraid to offend you or upset you).You don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells, worrying that you might screw something up. You don’t feel like you’re suffocating, wishing and hoping to finally get some sweet relief and get to breathe. In fact, you never even think about possibly losing them because you don’t feel you need to possess them in order to experience the love you have for them. Yes, popular songs it sound like it’s supposed to be. But movies and music are wrong, love is meant to be effortless and easy. Why is breaking your fixation essential to having success in your love life?

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There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… It is true and pure – you don’t need them to be any certain way.

MORE: How to Have a Healthy Relationship This simply is not true.

If a relationship with someone makes you feel bad, that is your mind screaming, “This person is incompatible with you! ” If a relationship feels like suffocation, that’s a huge clue that you’re not in a relationship with someone who’s compatible with you. In a good relationships, everything just unfolds effortlessly (well, 99% of the time within a good relationship is effortless with the occasional 1% of the time where you have to put in effort to make sure things stay in a good place).

It does not feel good, but it does feel very urgent, very important, and very stressful.

When you’re fixated on someone, it feels more like you’re suffocating. like you must have them treat you a certain way, give you a certain relationship title, or somehow prove their commitment to you.In general, though, compatible people have very little, if any, fixation in their relationships…

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