We had known each other for three years, but he didn’t know why I was in a wheelchair because he had been so afraid to ask. Ask all the questions you want, even if you think they’re pointless.The answers might surprise you, and will probably be the difference between having an awesome relationship and a crappy one.The ability to think on your toes in situations like that will get you far — it’s a powerful way of showing others that you’re comfortable, and that the situation is totally normal.Any relationship will falter when there’s not open communication, but it’s even more important when you’re dating someone with a disability.Responding with a “gross” or “Shouldn’t you be trying to date someone else in a wheelchair? This one can be a bit tricky, as it normally comes from a place of genuine concern.Some of my boyfriends have left me out of things like skiing or beach days, or constantly assumed I needed help because they thought activities would be too difficult for me.Coming up to a woman and saying “Hey, gorgeous,” might be cheesy, but at least it could get you a smile.
I’ve always waffled back and forth between being a hopeless romantic and a complete cynic.They think they have the right to ask if we’re able to have children, or assume my boyfriend is my caretaker.In one instance, I was getting out of my car at a beer festival and several strangers yelled at my boyfriend for not helping me.To me, it shouldn’t have an impact on my level of attractiveness, but the guys I came into contact with usually had something offensive to say in response.
It’s totally understandable to be surprised, but it’s better to proceed with respect or explain your thoughts.Nothing is sexier than a person who gives no fucks about a wheelchair because they’re just so focused on the person in it.